Hey there, I got your invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. So, you're serving a turducken, huh? That's what, a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey?
Hmm.
Wow.
Yeah, sorry I haven't gotten back to you until now. See, I've been too busy not giving a shit about your lame ass turducken.
Seriously, three birds in one? That's all you've got for me? Who the fuck cares? What do you say you take your piece of shit turducken and go sit at the kiddies' table?
Turducken.
Yeah, I'll be duckin' that turd for sure.
Three animals? All in the same family?
Pilgrim, please.
Check out what I've got going on in my place this year:
I start out with a hummingbird, which is stuffed up the ass of a crow, which is then crammed up the rump of a rooster, which in turn is jammed into the belly of a goose.
There. The score is now 4 - 3. Ready to concede defeat yet?
Well, not so fast, Miles Standish; this gobblepalooza is just getting started.
Because next we shove the goose into the abdomen of a cleanly shaven wild boar, and the boar is then rammed into the belly of a reindeer.
Oh yeah.
You read that right. Reindeer. Tell Santa he's got an opening to fill, because Donner's going to be a my place for dinner this week.
But don't worry about your kids getting scarred by the sight of a smouldering reindeer carcass, because they won't see him: Old Donner's going to be stowed in the stomach of a one and a half ton American bison.
Anybody else getting hungry yet? Well then hold on to your blunderbuss, limp dick. Because the piece de resistance is almost here. And in case you're not in the mood to decipher French on an American holiday, let me break it down for you in the queen's:
What I mean is, here comes the money shot.
The bison is stuffed inside a five ton Asian elephant.
There.
There, bitch.
The humcrowstergooboareinbisephant.
Dinner is served.
Pass the yams, motherfucker.
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