November 10 - A Father To Be Wonders What the Deal is With the World's Most Enduring Lullaby

Rock-a-bye baby
On the tree top
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

Really?
That's what we're supposed to be singing to our little treasures at night to help them sleep? Hey there, love of my life, here's a little ditty about some fucking insanely negligent parents you should consider yourself lucky not to have.
I apologize if I'm covering ground that's already been covered by other people, but now that I'm about to have a kid of my own, I realize there's a lot about this lullaby that doesn't add up for me.
Starting with this: Basically, who the fuck is putting their child in a cradle on the top of a tree? And why? If you're unconcerned about your kid's safety, just put the cradle on the ground. It's so much easier. Without even getting into the issue of how unbelievably dangerous it is, it's a tremendous pain in the ass to put a cradle up on a tree top. You have to go through all the trouble of getting a ladder and climbing it with one arm because you're balancing the cradle with the other one. Plus, there's the matter of deflecting all the unwanted attention you're going to attract from your neighbor. Oh, this? Yeah, don't worry. It's not as sketchy as it looks. As long as the wind doesn't blow, she'll be great. Besides, I'm thinking this bough's got at least another week or so before it gives out. Relax, ya fuckin' wet blanket.
Honestly, why go through the trouble? If you have to put your child at risk (and maybe sometimes you do; I don't know, I'm not a dad yet), just put the damn thing outside and be done with it. But putting a cradle on the top of a tree? It's such a hassle.
Then there's the line, When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.
When the bough breaks.
Not if.
When.
So basically, the deranged bastard in question fucking knows the bough is going to break. It's going to happen. It's just a question of when. And even then it's not like, When the bough breaks I'll make a highlight reel diving catch to save your diaper clad ass.
No.
It's just, When the bough breaks? I don't know, the cradle will fall. Duh. And then my baby will plummet to the earth. In her cradle.
And that's the end of the song.
Good night. Sleep tight, my little angel.
It's a fucking ridiculous song. How it has endured all these years is beyond me.
Maybe it's meant to encourage parents. To let them know that no matter how bad they drop the ball in the coming days, weeks, months, and years, there's somebody out there worse than them. So keep your chin up!
Or maybe it works as a cautionary tale to children--something to give them a little perspective when things don't always go their way on the parental front. Something parents can sing to their kids at bedtime and then be all, Just remember that one, OK kiddo? Remember that one sometime years from now when we're at the Wal-Mart's and you're throwing a fit and screaming about how much you hate me for not buying you the latest Miley Cyrus piece of shit to replace the one I just got you yesterday and you're already sick of. When that time comes around, I want you to remember this song.
And also, remember that no matter how many times I'm sure to fail you and let you down as a parent in the coming years, and no matter how much you're sure to hate me for God only knows what transgressions I'm going to be guilty of between now and your high school graduation and beyond, just remember that at the very least, even if I got everything else wrong, I still managed to avoid putting you and your cradle on the top of a tree that I knew was structurally unsound. At least I pulled that one off.
So maybe I'm not a total failure as a father and a human being, OK?
OK?!
Good.
Now kiss your daddy good night.