So, like, Jason. Does he poop? And if so, does he wipe his butt? And if so, what does he use? Leaves? I can't imagine him using toilet paper, so it must be leaves.
But if he poops, then obviously he eats, right? What does he eat? Does he have any favorite foods? Does he cook? Where does he get his food from? Does he have a garden? I can't imagine him weeding, but obviously he doesn't go to the grocery store because he would just kill everybody. So, what then? He must be a live off the land kind of guy, a hunter/gatherer type. I can picture him killing small furry animals and eating them. But how, raw? Probably. But does he skin them first or does he just go for it? I honestly can't decide which would impress me more.
What about at night? I mean, like, what about on nights when there aren't any killable teenagers nearby? Does he sleep? He must sleep, right? But does he have a bed? Pillows? A blanket? Does widdle Jasey-wasey have a widdle blankie poo? If he gets cold, does he close the windows? When he gets up in the morning is he ever like, Is it morning again already? Dude, I JUST put my head down to go to sleep. And now it's morning? The hell happened? Maybe that's why he's so cranky. Just not a morning person, LOL!
Clothes-wise: Well, he wears them, but I'm guessing he just keeps the same set on most of the time. What about his shoes? Does he tie them? Probably, right? Otherwise, he might trip and fall. So then yeah, he ties them. But he probably does it on the sly because if people caught him tying his shoes he wouldn't seem so scary because it's next to impossible to look scary when you're tying your shoes. It's like, that, and drinking from a straw: simply not scary.
Of course it's a different story altogether when he gets up again!! ROTFL!
Bathing? No way. Same goes for brushing his teeth, washing his clothes, etc. Cleaning his pad? Freaking forget about it. Not like he's going to be doing much entertaining.
But getting back to my original question, does he poop? Yeah, I say he does. And then he doesn't wipe.
EWW!!!!!!
Can you imagine? If he came near me with his unwiped butt, I'd be all, Gross, dude! Just kill me now, and put me out of my misery!
LOL!!!!
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