October 17 - The Make-up Artist

Judy was a make-up artist, which was more than a little ironic since she was indirectly (and not so indirectly) responsible for so many break-ups.
She was a gossip hound, an incomparable flirt, an instigator and an agitator. She was meddlesome, prying, and without peer when it came to collecting and disseminating misinformation and giving out bad advice:
I don't wanna go getting anybody in trouble, but girl, you shoulda seen the way Rachel's husband was looking at the check-out girl at the Wal-Marts the other week. I swear he was looking at her the way Sprinkles looks at my pot roast.
Girl, I got this halter top that would look--Mmmm!--good on you. What are you, size 11?
You ever go with a fireman? Girl, you don't know what you're missing. Them boys is hot! They got this new guy downtown? Shit, all I'm trying to say is his hose could get me wet any day of the week. You say Gary's going out of town this weekend? Say no more, girlfriend. Say no more.
Don't even try to tell me you ain't noticed Becca's been getting a bit big lately. I know it ain't none of my business, but everybody knows Steve got a vasectomy. Everybody also knows she got a new manager at work and she's been working an awful lot of late nights. And that's all I'm gonna say on that matter.
You still with Ricky? That's too bad because my friend Suzie's brother and you would really hit it off. He's a roadie with the Ozzfest right now, but they'll be back in a couple of weeks. You all should come over to my place for appletinis sometime and we'll get you set right up.
Girl, all I'm saying is you cannot be held responsible for anything you say or do after your fourth mudslide. Mitch does not have to know a thing about tonight. This here ladies night! Now go talk to that man before I do!
Think of the chattiest, nosiest, most meddlesome person you know. The biggest devil-on-your-shoulder doling out bad advice. Judy had him/her beat, and everybody knew it.
However/Therefore, she always had people coming to her shop, Judy's Beauty. If their relationship was in a rut, if they wanted a spark of excitement, or if they were just after a change of some sort, they just found themselves drawn to Judy's Beauty for a make-up session.
She was the anti-match maker, the match breaker, a break-up artist of the highest caliber, always full of advice that almost always resulted in the severing of ties.
Her customers must have known it too because they were always quick to denounce her behind her back.
One time, a secretary named Carol said that a visit to Judy's was like malt liquor and corn dogs: tempting once every couple of months, but never as good as you think it's going to be and always leaving you feeling ashamed of yourself.
And yet she always went back.
They all did.
People were funny that way.