July 26 - The Zoobomb Turks

"Can I help you?"
"Sorry?"
"I said, 'Can I help you?' You've been looking at us since you got on the train."
"Have I? Sorry about that. I was just looking at your son there."
"And?" the woman asked.
"I was just wondering if you were in the habit of letting him take stuff from kiosks without paying for it, or if what I saw on the platform was something new."
The toddler sucked his fingers and his parents glared back at the man in silence.
"Look, I'm not going to turn you in over a bag of M&Ms, but you might want to have a little pull aside with your little one there. How old is he, three? Seems a bit young to be starting down that road, don't you think?"
They didn't say anything in reply. The woman held her son a bit closer.
"Very good, very good," the man said. "Congratulations. You just passed the first test. By the way, the name's Ralph."
None of them said anything.
"Don't you want to know what the first test is? I'll tell you anyway." He leaned in closer to them. "You kept your cool when a stranger made unfounded accusations about your child. Well done." He clapped a bit.
"Your continued silence tells me I've got your attention, but your flaring nostrils tell me I might want to make it quick. Fair enough. I'll come to my point."
He looked at the little boy.
"Do you like the zoo?"
And over the next 10 minutes, he told them his proposition. He was with the Animal Defense League, a fairly controversial animal rights activist group that monitored zoos and other animal-related businesses to make sure they complied with the basic ethical and hygienic standards set by the World Zoo Council.
Sometimes that required going undercover, and that's where families such as theirs came in. It was easier to excuse--and harder to be suspicious of--families who accidentally entered off limits areas. Left unmonitored momentarily and unable to read, a toddler might wander into an area that was open to authorized personnel only. And in a panic, his parents might barge in after him. And while in there, they might "drop" a microscopic camera or microphone in that area before zoo security escorted them back to the visitors' area.
After listening to Ralph's story, the couple were interested but incredulous. It was an absurd story, and they couldn't believe a word of it, from the way Ralph had approached them, to the work his "Animal Defense League" did, to what he was (doing an impressive job of keeping a straight face while) trying to talk them into consider doing. But it was a long ride, so they let him continue.
He apologized again for his opening gambit, explaining that he needed people who could keep their cool, especially in awkward and potentially angering moments involving their children.
As for why he'd approached them, the woman was wearing a WWF t-shirt, the man had Greenpeace and PETA patches on his bag, and all three of them were wearing or carrying at least one item made of hemp. Thus his staring earlier. He wanted to make sure of their credentials.
And the work itself? He'd already explained it, but he did so again, emphasizing how safe and relatively easy it was, especially in terms of how valuable the information they could get could be.
After a few more stops, the husband was on board. Since becoming a father, his life had settled into a comfortable routine/stifling malaise. He missed the life of the activist, which is what they were when they'd fallen in love. He missed the adventure and the sense of purpose. This was a chance to return to that, while also giving his son his first taste of the life. It was also a great opportunity for him and his wife to do something exciting, edgy, and worthwhile again.
And it was this tact that convinced his wife to sign on a few more stops down the line. Afterwards, neither of them could believe how quickly they'd gone from being ready to kick Ralph's ass to being conscripted by him into perpetrating borderline illegal acts of activism. It made them feel alive.
Their training was minimal for several reasons: It reduced their culpability, boosted their perceived innocence, and made them appear more authentic.
The Animal Defense League started them out with petting zoos, and as they proved their abilities, they were promoted to surveilling circuses, rodeos, aquariums, and zoos.
As much as possible, they kept their son in the dark about what they were doing. Stationing themselves near off-limit areas, they let him wander around and open doors (while surreptitiously keeping an eye on him), and then follow him into wherever he'd gone where they would quickly install mini cameras and bugs before staff found them.
During their run, the Zoobomb Turks, as they came to be known within the ADL's ranks, were credited with doing the recon work that led to more than 37 arrests for various charges of animal cruelty, four temporary closings of zoos and animal parks, and improvements of living conditions for countless animals across the country.
Their run came to an ironic and unsettling end when the father of the family was mauled to death by guard dogs at a dude ranch in Wyoming.