July 15 - A Conversation with the Guy Who's Dating Monica Lewinsky

Not THE Monica Lewinsky.
Yes, THE Monica Lewinsky.
Get out.
Seriously.
Like . . . Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky.
Yes, Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky. The one you're thinking of.
You're dating Monica Lewinsky.
Yes.
Seriously.
Yes.
What? I don't even know where to start.
OK, I'll give you the abbreviated version. We met at a party, started talking, got along, exchanged numbers, started dating, and here we are.
OK . . .
And the answers to the questions you're going to ask are no, not really; funny, smart, cool, and completely past it; no; only once; no, and I doubt I ever will; and no, I wouldn't dream of going there.
OK, what are the questions?
Don't you feel self-conscious?
What's she like?
Is she still in touch with Bill?
Have you asked her about "it"?
Have you seen the blue dress?
And have you "smoked" a cigar with her?
Wow.
I've had this conversation before.
I would imagine.
Yeah.
Does it ever bother you?
What?
Um . . .
Just say it. I promise I've heard it all before.
Well, does it ever bother you that pretty much the whole world knows certain things about your girlfriend?
Like what?
Like--you know.
Maybe I know. But I don't want to assume I know what you're talking about, so for clarity's sake you should just ask.
Seriously? It's not pretty.
Like I said, I've heard it all before.
OK, well. Here goes. Does it ever bother you knowing she blew the president?
Does it bother you knowing that yours isn't the first penis that's been in your girlfriend's mouth? Because I guarantee you it's not.
Well. I--I don't know. I really don't think about it much.
Well, neither do I. Every chick has an ex.
But she's--I mean, she blew Clinton!
More than 10 years ago.
He, um, did stuff with her with a cigar.
Again, more than 10 years ago.
Dude, your girlfriend is Monica Lewinsky!
Yeah.
And like, that doesn't drive you crazy? Come on, how can you be so 'whatever' about that?
OK, OK. Calm down. It took a little getting used to. I didn't realize who she was until we'd already gone on our first date. I didn't ask her her last name. She was just 'Monica.' Plus she looked pretty different from how she looked when the whole scandal was going on, so I didn't recognize her. And by the time she told me, I already knew I liked her.
And you're OK with that.
She's cool. I like her. And we're together. What do you want from me?
Monica Lewinsky. Just--wow.
(smiles and shrugs)