It's high time we had an alternative to the Tea Party movement, and I can't be the only one who thinks so. Every time you turn on the news there's some sort of Tea Party rally, and everybody's so angry. Obama's turning us into a nation of socialists! What the hell kind of tea are they drinking anyway? I thought tea was supposed to calm you down. Isn't that what Sleepy Time Tea has made a fortune off of? Tea should be all about cuddly bears in sleeping caps gently dozing off in front of a crackling fireplace, not angry white people yelling about how we need to take the country back. We need something different. And until somebody comes along with a better idea, I've got a suggestion: The Ice Cream Party.
It's pretty simple. Everybody just calms down and has some ice cream. No political agendas, no jingoism, no getting hysterically pissed off about something they're only semi-informed about. The Ice Cream Party is just about Americans getting together and having ice cream, regardless of political affiliation, race, age, gender, religion, socio-economic status, and all the rest of it. We should still be able to do that, right? After all, at the end of the day we're all Americans. (Well, all of us except for the ones who aren't but even non-Americans can be cool sometimes, so maybe we should invite them, too.)
People can have whatever kind of ice cream they want. They're not going to have any liberal Vermont Ben & Jerry's forced on them. Sure, they can have that if that's what they want, but they can also have Baskin Robbins, Breyers, Friendly's, McDonald's, Mr. Softee, whatever. They can even make their own ice cream.
Don't get me wrong: It's great that people are getting involved in democracy, but it's getting ugly and mean out there. We all need to take a break from the tea and the hysteria. Who's with me on this? You scream, I scream, let's all scream for ice cream.
And I'll bring the sprinkles.
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Back when I worked as a tutor and playground supervisor at an inner city elementary school, I used to stop kids from fighting with ice cream. No, really. Well, sort of. If a couple of kids were fighting or about to start, I would interrupt them by asking, "Hey, what's your favorite ice cream flavor?" It really worked. The combinationn of non-sequitur, a delicious topic, and engaging the imagination seemed to defuse any sort of negative energy. (I made them answer me!) So I think you're onto a good idea there, Andy.
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