OK homies, I know we've been struggling to come up with a name and identity for our gang for a long time, but I think I've finally come up with something good. Let me walk you guys through this.
First of all, forget everything you thought you knew about street gangs. Forget leather jackets, gang colors, guns, knives, all that shit. Just chuck all that tired conventional bullshit right out the window.
Is it all gone? Good because now I've got a question for you dudes: Have you ever noticed how stone cold creepy mimes are with their makeup and the way they never talk and shit? Well, what could be creepier and more badass than a fucking gang of mimes?
Bitches, I shall tell you: A gang of baseball playing mimes!
Boys, I give you the Baseball Furies.
Look at this picture I drew. Just look at it. Are you fucking kidding me? Motherfucker is like the missing member of Kiss in a baseball uniform--and he's got a baseball bat?! Are you seriously telling me that you would fuck with that guy? A whole gang of that guys? Fucking forget about it.
Dig:
Crazy ass face paint? Check.
Old skool uniforms? Check.
Serious ass WTF factor? Check.
Honestly guys, who's going to stand up to us if we go out dressed like that? Seriously, tell me because I want to know. The Warriors? Screw those vest wearing douche bags. The Baseball Furies would knock them out of the park in the first inning.
Who else? Those sissies who cruise around the subway station on roller skates? Bitches, please. We'd be all "foul ball, fools!" just prior to letting loose with a serious ass Baseball Furies beatdown all over their rollerskating asses. Next.
The Gramercy Riffs? Freaking Cyrus? Really? That bitch would strike the motherfuck out if he tried to go to bat against the Baseball Furies and then we'd be all up in his grill saying, "Can you dig it? Can you dig it? No, Cyrus. We cannot dig it!" And then we'd just stroll away twirling our baseball bats like the Baseball Furies we are.
OK, who's with me?
Batter up, Baseball Furies. Batter the motherfuck up.
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Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about.
ReplyDeleteWhat? WHAT was he talkin' about?
ReplyDeleteDang.
Anyway, this is the one I was trying to remember. It's just so out of left field. So to speak. Which part of your cranium/experience did this one come from?