March 19 - Inner Monologue of the Owner of a Place Called Ska Bar in Koh Samui, Thailand

Man, fuck this fucking place. I really mean it this time. A bloody ska bar? In Koh Samui? Jesus H. Skanking Christ, what was I thinking? Yeah, it'll be brilliant. Instead of coming here for a week every year, just fucking go for it and get your own place. Just do it. Open your own bar. How hard can it be? Chill at the beach all day, run the bar at night, play some ska, get some regulars who actually like good music instead of the shite you hear at every other fucking bar here and, you know, just have a go at it. Do what you love and the money will follow. That's what everybody always says, right?
Right. That statement deserves a big old asterisk that says, "Except open up a place called Ska Bar in Southeast Asia, because it's so plainly a crap idea."
But of course nobody tried to talk any sense into me. They were all like, do it, man, live the dream, especially my mates so they could come out here every winter and have a place to stay and drink beer and play pool on a completely rubbish pool table and assume that all the help will want to shag them. They all had advice and tips and ideas for me, but you know what none of them said that would've saved me a ton of grief?
Ska is some fucking shite ass music, man.
Holy bloody cocksucking hell, man. If you play it all night every night, you quickly realize that this ska shit all sounds the same. Every bit of it. There I was thinking it was pretty diverse, what with Studio One and then 2-Tone, and the third wave and some of the J-ska coming out of Japan, and so on, but a list like that always ends with "so on" even though that's all there is: Studio One, 2-Tone, third wave, and a bit of Japanese shit. That's it. No more. There's no massive eclectic ska scene out there bubbling under the surface. We've already heard everything there is to be heard when it comes to ska, believe me.
And here's another thing: Who actually likes this shit? It ain't hot Thai women--or any other women for that matter. And apparently not that many guys. Here I was thinking it would pull people in after the Full Moon parties or away from the clubs looking for some real music but people don't give a rat's arse about music when they come to Thailand. They just want to get fucked up.
I could be back in London working for a bank pulling in a couple thousand quid a month. Instead I'm down here in Thailand year-round, running this bloody Ska Bar.
Fuck me, man.