January 4 - Letter to a Former Ugly Duckling

Dear Uckling--oops, I mean Swan,

Congratulations. And welcome to the big time. Swimming with the swans now, eh? I'm impressed. No, really. You must be excited to be part of such a high class crowd. No more wasting your time with us losers at the far end of the pond. Good for you! By the way, I tried to say hi to you the other day, but I guess you didn't see me. Maybe your swan neck is just too long, what do I know?
So much has changed since the last migration season. I hardly recognize you! I mean, you look fantastic! It must be such a relief for you to know that you were never a lowly duck. All along, you were a beautiful swan. It was the rest of us that had the problem. We were just too stupid and shallow to realize how amazing you actually were.
Oh, what's that? Sarcasm? Hmm, I guess you could call it that. I mean, I didn't want this to turn bitter and nasty, but now that you mention it I guess you could say that this letter isn't entirely congratulatory. You see, I hate to break your little fairy tale fantasy, but not all of us were dicks to you. In fact, I seem to remember one little duckling in particular that stuck by your side all through your tough times. There was one little duckling who could see how beautiful you were on the inside even while everyone else called you Uckling (as in Ugly Duckling--not that you need a reminder (but then again maybe you do). Hmm, who could that have been? Who was it that made room for you in line at swimming practice? Who was it that helped you make your nest when everybody else was laughing at you? Who was it that stuck up for you when all the other ducklings were making fun of your ridiculous feathers (which, let's be honest, were atrocious)? Need a clue? Well let me help you out. It was me, but I guess that doesn't really matter. You've found better birds to hang out with. No need to waste any more time with this ducky. It's time for you to swim on to prettier shores.
Anyway, I really am happy that you finally found a crowd that will appreciate what a wonderful and special bird you really are. But enjoy it while it lasts because believe me, it won't. One of these days, they're going to remember who you are and where you came from and they're going to send you right back and it won't feel good. And then, when you're feeling real low and dirty, and your heart is splattered all over hell, don't look to me to pump you back up because maybe for the first time in your life I WON'T BE THERE!

Sincerely,
Dale Duck