January 23 - John Oates' Inner Monologue While Standing in Front of the Bathroom Mirror on the Day Before the Start of a New Tour

So, the mustache.
Do I shave it?
I think I do. It's time, you know? Hell, it's past time. And what better time to shave it than right before the start of the tour? Just stroll out on stage for the first song with a cleanly shaven mug and take it from there. Some people might freak, but you know what?
Let them freak.
There will probably be more than a few people in the audience who won't recognize me at first. So be it. Actually, that might even be cooler. It'll just make it more of a shock when they realize it's me and not some young session guitarist we brought in for the tour. Like, Holy crap, that's John? Damn. My boy is looking good! Was he always that cut?
Yeah, why not shave it? Besides, it's not like I haven't shaved it before. There was that one time in--what was it, '98?--when I shaved it. Yeah, and I seem to remember a certain sound engineer named Rachel that--um, how can I put this?--didn't seem to have a problem with it.
Mmm, Rachel. God, what ever happened to her?
Yeah, screw it. The mustache goes. I know Daryl will throw a hissy fit like he always does, but you know something? Screw him. "It's your trademark, John. People expect the mustache, John. It's part of the Hall & Oates Experience, John." Oh really? I've spent most of my adult life looking like freaking Baba Booey from Howard Stern because it's part of the Hall & Oates Experience!? Enough already!
Freaking Hall & Oates Experience. And what else is part of the "Hall & Oates Experience", Daryl? Your ridiculous white boy dance moves? The embarrassing way you shake around that pathetic attempt at a pompadour? And what the hell is it with you always calling us the Hall & Oates Experience? Seriously, Daryl. Tell me because I'm dying to know. And while you're enlightening us all with your wisdom, tell me this: When the hell did you become the leader of Hall & Oates? Yes, I realize Oates & Hall doesn't have the same ring to it. We've gone over that. And yes, I know you do lead vocals on most of our hits, but your solo albums don't do half the business our records do, so get over yourself. Besides, if you want to use the whole Hall & Oates Experience argument, you could say it's my mustache that completes the Experience. And as such, I have a stake in this, too, so listen up, Daryl. I'm going to teach you a new concept. Are you ready? It's a little something I call evolution. As in, not getting mired in the past. As in, moving on. Like, this is the new face of Hall & Oates.
Ooh, wow. Wait a minute. I just came up with that, but that is good. Yeah, The New Face of Hall & Oates. Oh man, that is smooth.
No, wait! Here it is: Experience the New Face of Hall & Oates. Oh man, John. You are good. You are so good.
Yes. The mustache goes. Absolutely it goes.
I wonder if Rachel is still single.