August 29 - Reno

Man, I ain't seen ass in so long, I bet I wouldn't be able to pick it out of a police line-up.
Jesus, Dad.
Just saying. We can't all be as young and good looking as you, you know.
Should've thought about that before you left mom.
Ouch. Watch it there, Oedipus.
Look, I'm just saying. You left her. It wasn't the other way around.
Right. And somehow she just happened to meet that firefighting ballroom dancer not two weeks after I walked out. Nothing suspicious there.
I'd rather not think about that.
The guy wasn't even from around here. Where was he from, Tacoma?
Spokane.
Right, Spokane. That whole situation's got matchmaker.com written all over it. How else she gonna meet someone from freaking Spokane? And a firefighter! Who's into ballroom dancing! Like she didn't enter that in some search engine.
Like I said . . .
You met the guy, right?
Yeah.
And how old is he? Your age, right?
Younger. By two years.
Can you believe that shit?
You're one to talk.
Good point.
Just let it go. Don't . . . Just . . .
No, you're right. Besides, we didn't come to Reno to wallow in our sorrow. You and me are here on the first of what I hope will be several father/son titty hunts. High five!
(Slap)
So. Where we going first?
Well, first I think we should get out of this restroom. I think that would be a good start.
He's not coming, is he?
No.
I thought you knew this guy.
No. We've gone over this. Ron works with a guy who scores from him every time he comes to Reno.
And you're sure this was the place we were supposed to meet him?
Unless there's another central bus station in Reno that has a men's room right next to the gift shop, this is the place.
Should we give him another five minutes?
Could we not? I'm starting to get claustrophobic. This stall doesn't feel as big as it did 10 minutes ago. Besides, I kind of feel like a dick for occupying it so long. I think that one guy really had to go.
Probably, but that's still no excuse for calling us--what did he call us?
Ass ramming lot lizards.
Yikes. Not bad from a guy in a wheelchair.
True. Come on, let's get out of here. I know a place that has the loosest slots in Reno.
Now you're talking!
I said 'slots'.
Oh.
By the way, you're not really going to wear that, are you? Tell me that's some kind of joke.
What, this?
Yes, that. Yes, the black leather vest with--what are those?--Judas Priest studs.
You don't like it?
It's not that. I just wish you would wear a shirt underneath it, that's all.
But then people wouldn't be able to see my tattoo.
Yeah, I was going to say it looked like you got it touched up.
A few weeks ago, yeah. What do you think?
Well, it's a lot easier to tell that that's John Wayne on the back of Jesus's Harley. And the flag is a lot more vivid now.
Thanks. I'm glad you like it.
Didn't say I liked it. Come on, let's go.
Where? Hooters?
Sure, wherever. Anywhere but here.
OK, almost done. Crap. Can you check and see if the next stall over has any TP?
Oh, Jesus! Are you serious?
What, you really thought I was sitting here with my pants down because it was more comfortable? You actually believed that?
I was trying not to think--Oh God, you were crapping the whole time?
I told you my shit doesn't stink. Come on, don't let it freak you out. We're gonna have a great time tonight. Just you, me, and all the titties and beer in Reno!
I'll meet you outside. Wash your hands when you're done.
Wait, I still need some TP. Hello! Hello?