August 17 - The Heckler

There it was again, that crazy monosyllabic laugh.
"HAW!"
And then a few seconds later, "HAW!"
It was almost more of a yell than a laugh: deep-throated, emphatic, and mean. The kind of laugh you'd use if you had to make someone feel really bad and you only had time for one syllable. "HAW!"
Without breaking stride, I looked around but saw no one. Just trees, parked cars, and an empty park. Then I slowed my jog down, turned around, and ran backwards. Nobody behind me either. Just more trees.
A few blocks later it was the same guy. "HAW! HAW!" I stopped immediately and did a complete 360.
Nobody.
I put my hands on my hips and looked around and it was quiet. There wasn't anybody else around.
I got going again.
The next block, I heard him again. "HAW!" He was right behind me.
I stopped and turned around. "OK, whoever that is, could you please knock it off? I'm trying to run here."
I couldn't see him, but I felt his presence.
"Look, I know you're there. Just cut it out."
"HAW!"
I looked up. A crow was perched on a swing set in the park. He looked at me. "HAW!"
"Something funny there, crow?"
"HAW!"
"Shut up!"
"HAW!"
I picked up a rock. "OK, fine. Say it again."
He looked at me and opened his beak.
"Come on, birdy. Let's hear what you got to say."
He held his beak open. Then closed it.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Not laughing now, are you? Are you, birdy?"
He ruffled his feathers a bit, but otherwise didn't move.
I pretended like I was going to drop the rock, and he perched up, ready to cackle. But I didn't drop the rock. Instead I faked a throw, and he flapped away from the swing set and swooped out of sight.
"Yeah, just remember that, Mr. Crow! Just remember that shit next time you come around laughing at me! Just remember I've got this rock and I'm not afraid to use it!" I shouted into the trees.
Then I turned around to run back home and there she was, that really good looking woman with the braids I sometimes see when I go running.
Crap.
From her expression I could tell she'd seen my whole little conversation with the crow. I tried to salvage it with a little laugh and shrug, but she just flashed a split second appease-the-weirdo smile and continued on her way. And after another couple of seconds, so did I.
"HAW!"
I just kept on running. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.
"HAW!"