August 22 - Roger and Mustapha

Roger Crankshankle got kicked out of pirate school on the first day of class because he couldn't keep himself from laughing every time the captain said, "poop deck."
In those days (of yore), you couldn't get an official commission as a pirate without the proper credentials from an officially licensed pirate school, so his parents--both full-time pirates themselves--were very disappointed when they heard the news. They'd had such high hopes for Roger to carry on the family business.
Roger's father, Redbeard Crankshankle called a family meeting to talk about Roger's options; unfortunately, they were as limited as they were unappealing: pulling strings to get an unpaid internship as a cabin boy, waiting until next year to apply to another pirate school, or working part-time at a public house serving grog and venison.
Like many other 15-year-old would be pirates, Roger didn't care much about such serious matters like careers and commissions; his parents, however, wanted a bright future for their son. And (like any set of parents) they knew he was capable of great things. He just needed to apply himself. But how?
Thinking it would give Roger the guidance he needed, his parents enrolled him in Krakenbile, the combination Viking academy, vocational school, and floating juvenile detention center renowned for its harsh disciplinary standards. Although Redbeard's wife Agnes wasn't 100% behind the idea (especially the juvenile detention center aspect), Redbeard was confident it was the right move.
"Roger just needs a swift kick in the pants," he said, and not for the first time.
As for Roger, he wasn't so thrilled about the juvenile detention center aspect of his new school either, but he loved the idea of living on a boat. He told his parents he would do his best, and off he went.
His days at Krakenbile were busy: cleaning and boat maintenance in the mornings; sailing and vocational classes in the afternoon (Roger majored in the culinary arts); swashbuckling practice at night.
Swashbuckling practice was his favorite activity by far because it reminded him of playing pirates when he was a kid. Everyone else at Krakenbile was ultra serious and competitive, but Roger treated it--like everything else in his life--like a game. And it frustrated the others to no end that Roger was one of the best swordsmen at Krakenbile--seemingly without trying.
Roger's roommate Mustapha, a sword fighting prodigy from Tunisia, recognized in Roger an almost innately preternatural talent with swords--a talent he took it upon himself to develop through nightly one on one swordsmanship clinics. Although Roger usually wasn't one for self improvement, he enjoyed sword fighting with Mustapha because he was such a good and challenging opponent. He looked forward to their sessions every day.
Very soon, an unconventional--and one-sided--rivalry developed. Mustapha would tutor Roger in tactics and strategies, and then get frustrated when Roger's mastery of the tactics and strategies he'd just been taught exceeded those of his teacher. This drove Mustapha to work harder and harder, which had the indirect result of Roger's skill improving even faster.
The irony was that Roger wasn't even aware that a rivalry existed. He merely engaged in sword fighting with relish and glee, oblivious to the fact that his regular thrashings of Mustapha were driving him crazy with jealousy.
Meanwhile, the teachers at Krakenbile also noticed Roger's accelerated development in sword fighting and began to see potential for him in other areas. Following his culinary arts teacher's encouragement, Roger put his sword skills to work in his cooking classes with impressive results. He excelled in butchery. He finished his prep work with a speed and panache rarely seen in the kitchen. And he discovered he had a knack for combining different ingredients in new and exotic ways to come up with amazing dishes to share with everyone else at Krakenbile. With cooking, he had found something he enjoyed as much as sword fighting.
And throughout this time, his sword fighting skills continued to be honed and sharpened (so to speak) by Mustapha, who never let him let his guard down. He was constantly jumping out at Roger from every hidden corner of the kitchen and attacking him with everything he had. Roger never knew when a normal meal prep would turn into a harrowing culinary death match, and he was always ready for a duel.
He loved it.
In fact, he managed to incorporate the sword fights into the cooking process, eluding Mustapha's lunges and then chopping up vegetables and meat on the side; parrying Mustapha's blows and then pulling a hot dish off the fire; ducking and then hopping over Mustapha's sword and then garnishing his completed dishes.
Before long, students and teachers began crowding into the kitchen every time Roger was there, hoping that yet another thrilling display of swordsmanship and the culinary arts would break out between Roger and Mustapha.
They were never disappointed.
In time, Mustapha also began to incorporate food prep into his attacks, and their one-sided rivalry developed into a two-sided partnership. They formalized their nightly food fights into a revolutionary new cooking technique called Abu Shakrah. Drawing equally from the thrills and danger of Tunisian sword fighting and more than 500 years of Viking food history, Abu Shakrah changed the way seafarers and landlubbers alike saw food preparation. Whereas cooking used to be what you had to do to make something (barely) edible, Abu Shakrah turned it into theater, excitement, showmanship.
Upon graduation from Krakenbile, Roger and Mustapha opened their own floating restaurant called Crankshankle and Mustapha, where they dazzled customers with their dangerous, death-defying, swashbuckling cooking duels and amazing Viking dishes.
They were incredibly successful. Within ten years, their empire had expanded to five floating restaurants, and by the time they retired 17 floating restaurants were flying the Crankshankle and Mustapha flag: the tragedy and comedy theater masks, with two crossed scimitars beneath them on a black background.
Without the contributions of Roger, Mustapha, and Abu Shakrah, dining today would be considerably different. There would be no dinner theater, no floating restaurants, no Benihana, no celebrity chefs, and no franchises. It all came from them.
And none of it would have happened if Roger had been able to keep a straight face when his pirate school captain said "poop deck."

(Co-written with Misako Goto)