June 3 - Bob Marley's Defense Attorney Counsels His Client Who Has Just Confessed to Having Shot the Sheriff

So. You shot the sheriff. You're not denying that. Pretty much signed a full confession and everything, huh? Well, I'm not going to sugarcoat it, Mr. Marley. It doesn't look good.
And yes, I realize you didn't shoot the deputy, which is good, but, um--how do I put this delicately?--You shot the fucking sheriff. How does any list of people you didn't shoot improve our lot in the case of the one murder you did confess to? It's like me telling my wife, Yeah, I fucked your sister, but I didn't fuck my secretary. You know? I mean, do you see how much that doesn't make a difference to the jury? Do you get that saying "I didn't do B" doesn't excuse you for doing A? I mean seriously, why the hell are you making such a point of that entirely irrelevant fact? Yeah, I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot the deputy! OK, great. But you did shoot the sheriff, so, um, good luck with that defense case.
Speaking of which, now that I've gotten that off my chest, let's see what we've got here.
At one point in your confession you said that you acted in self defense; however, there were no witnesses, nor is there any sort of forensic evidence that backs up your claim. You've also mentioned that you felt threatened and that every time you would plant a seed, the sheriff would say--and I'm quoting you on this--"Kill them before they grow." Which sounds ominous, I'll admit. But in and of itself, it doesn't get us much. We don't have anyone to corroborate your testimony, nor is it entirely clear, even to me, that he's issuing even a veiled threat to you. So yeah, not much we can use there.
Moving on, I've been meaning to ask you: What's all that talk about a bucket going to the well and one day the bottom dropping out and who knows what else? Where the hell are you going with that and what does it have to do with anything? Because it makes not a lick of sense to me, Bob. Not a lick. Are you trying to lay the groundwork for an insanity plea? Because--you know, seriously?--that might be your best shot. Sorry, bad choice of words, but you know what I mean. But yeah, the insanity defense might be a good option; however, as your attorney, I advise you to let me call the plays or at least sit in on the huddle, kabeesh? Don't go calling any audibles on me at this stage in the game, OK?
Anyway, sorry about all the football expressions. It's just that this case has really got me stressed out, and a lot of it has to do with this whole deputy business. Just between you and me, the more I think about your testimony, the more suspicious I become because, dude: Nobody said you shot the deputy. You just started spouting that off in the middle of your testimony unprovoked. Do you have any idea how suspicious that makes you look? It's like me coming home and my kid telling me, apropos of nothing, that he didn't break the lamp, and me being like what fucking lamp? We've got a broken lamp? I didn't realize that. Because of your little outburst, you're now the presumptive suspect in his murder case as well--and they haven't even found a body yet. Will they? Is there anybody else you "didn't shoot"?
The only way I can possibly get you off is if you're straight with me. And for God's sake, stop laughing. You know I didn't mean 'get you off' in that way.
One more thing: You need to stop telling me not to worry about a thing, OK? They've got you on murder one. There's freaking plenty of things to worry about. And no, I'm not going to give up the fight, but I want you to start mentally preparing yourself for the possibility that every little thing is not going to be all right.