June 28 - The New Arrival

I got your message, but give me the basics again. Things have been crazy around here.
Come on, I thought you guys knew everything.
Ha ha. I wish, but no. You must be thinking about the boss.
Ha ha. Yeah, I guess so.
Ha ha. So you just arrived last week, right? And as I understand it, your wife arrived--(he checks the monitor)--Wow. Quite some time ago. Is this right? 17 years?
If you say so. Sounds right, I guess, but it also sounds impossible, if that makes any sense.
Ha ha. We get that a lot.
I'll bet.
So, what's your question again?
Well, as you probably know, I remarried. Not too long after my first wife, um--
--left.
Right. Ha ha. Left, right? Sorry. But um, yeah. My second wife isn't here yet, and actually probably won't be for quite some time.
(The caseworker waits patiently for him to finish.)
So, like, how does this work? Do I pick things up again with my first wife, or do I wait around for my second wife, or, like. You know? You get what I'm asking, right?
I think so. Things get a bit complicated when there are considerably different departure dates for spouses, especially when there are remarriages involved. In general, there's no all-encompassing policy. We try to help each group through its particular situation on a case by case basis.
So, I won't have to return to my first wife.
You don't want to?
Oh, God no. Oh. Sorry.
Quite all right.
But no. I mean, it was great seeing her at my welcome reception. And by the way, WOW! That was incredible! Did you help organize that?
A bit, yeah.
Well, wow. Just. Wow. And the guy singing Hound Dog. Was that really . . . ?
Yes.
Amazing. You guys know how to make a guy feel welcome.
This is a big change for most people. We want to get you off on the right foot.
Well, mission accomplished.
Glad you enjoyed it.
I did. But yeah, like I was saying, it was great seeing my ex-wife again. But I mean, I don't really want to go down that road again. Don't get me wrong. I loved her dearly, but when she left, well, this is going to sound horrible to say, but . . .
It's best to be honest.
Well, it was kind of a relief.
Really?
Well, substitute 'relief' with 'the best thing that ever happened to me' and 'kind of' with 'unquestionably.'
Ah.
See, I'd had my eye on #2 for quite some time. And let's just say that when the position became available again, I was more than ready to fill it with her.
(Looking at the monitor) Well actually, after pulling up your ex-wife's file, it looks like that will work out great.
Oh yeah? Why's that?
Well, since arriving here, she's gotten back together with her first husband.
Oh . . . Wait! What?
Her first husband?
What are you talking about, first husband? I was her first husband.
Not according to our records.
Well, there must be a mistake.
No.
But--That--She--
I can see this comes as a shock. If it makes you feel any better, you're far from the first person this has happened to. And there are countless legitimate reasons why she might have kept that part of her life from you.
Oh yeah? Name three.
Ha ha. There will be plenty of time for that later. Besides, you're more interested in wife #2 anyway, right?
I guess so.
Come on, keep your chin up. You want an update on her?
We can do that?
We try to limit that kind of thing for a lot of reasons, but in the first few weeks it can be a comfort for new arrivals to know that everything is OK back home.
OK, yeah. Sure.
All right, then. Just give me a minute. (He looks at the monitor.) Yep, there she is . . . Ooh.
What ooh? Is everything OK?
Um, yeah. She's fine. She's fine. It's just that--
What?
(To himself) Wow, that was quick.
(Urgent look)
Sorry. Um. It looks like she's found someone else.
Are you serious?
I'm afraid so. I'm sorry. I should've known this was a bad idea.
Who? Who is it?
Really, I apologize. This was a bad idea.
Who?
I really don't think you should worry about that. It's not good for you. Besides, there's nothing you can do about it.
I could haunt him.
Ha ha. Yeah, we really don't sanction that kind of behavior. Besides, who said it was a him?
You have got to be kidding me.
I am not kidding you.
Is she good looking?
Does it matter?
I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
Ha ha. Let it go. Don't torture yourself. It's not healthy. Besides, you've got a lot going for yourself. You'll meet somebody new.
Yeah, right.
You will. It'll just take some time. And believe me, you've got all the time in the world.