May 28 - Clown Bar

You know what I'm going to do? Open a clown bar. It'll be just like any other bar, except I'm only going to serve clowns.
On second thought, maybe I'd better serve liquor, too! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Get it? Like anybody would actually come to a bar and order a clown! HA HA! See, those are the kinds of shenanigans people will come to expect at my clown bar.
Clowns from all over town will come to my clown bar to unwind after a long day of getting out of crowded cars, sweeping up spotlights, and receiving pies in the face. Whenever a new table is seated, I'll go up to them and say, "What do you clowns want?" And whenever a customer has had too much to drink and I have to kick him out, I'll say to the bouncer, "Get that clown out of here!" And if somebody is being rude, I'll be like, "Listen here, Bozo."
But of course that will only work if his name is Bozo.
My clown bar is going to be so much fun! I'm not going to cater to any of those mopey ass crying on the inside clowns. Screw that. My place is going to be for good times, and good times only! There will be fun house mirrors everywhere, lots of fun little horns, and one of those things you hit with a sledgehammer to show how strong you are. Tons of balloons. Also, I'll keep a big bottle of seltzer water behind the bar, and every once in a while I'll break it out and be like, "Don't make me use this!" And everybody will laugh.
I can't wait to open my clown bar!
I'm serious.