May 6 - The Hero

The last two soldiers were pinned down by enemy fire, terribly outnumbered. The situation was hopeless . . .
And then a man in a huge, shiny suit of yellow and red armor burst in. The soldiers cheered his arrival.
"Yeah, motherfuckers!" yelled one of the soldiers. "You better run away as fast as you can! Iron Man lives again!" Part of him felt really stupid as soon as he said it, but then he figured, Screw it. Iron Man!
Only, why was he cowering behind the bunker? Why wasn't he flying around and shooting bad guys and deflecting bullets and fearlessly kicking untold amounts of ass?
The man in the yellow and red armor ran through the firefight and joined the soldiers in the other bunker. They stared at him as he took off his helmet. Despite the grave danger they were all in, eventually awkwardness got the better of him.
"What?"
"No offense, but we were expecting you to be considerably more, you know, badass," said the first soldier.
"Yeah, we figured your armor would be iron instead of--what the fuck is this?--cardboard? We thought you were bulletproof and could fly, and shit like that," said the second.
"Oh right," said the man in the armor. "Sorry. I get that a lot. You're thinking of Iron Man."
"Right. Ain't that you?"
"Ha ha. No, I wish. No, I'm not Iron Man. I'm Irony Man."
"Wow, we totally weren't expecting you," said the first soldier.
"Yeah, we absolutely did not see that coming," added the second.
"Yeah," said Irony Man. "Pretty cool twist, huh?"
"No, not really," said the first soldier.
"Totally," said the second. "This whole shitty situation is like rain on your wedding day."
And then they laughed. The three of them laughed. They laughed and laughed and laughed. And when they stopped laughing, all the bad guys were gone. Which was kind of ironic.
Don't you think?