May 13 - Baseball Dads

How about you? You play any sports back in high school?
Yeah, baseball.
Baseball, huh? Were you any good?
Decent, yeah. Made all-state in my senior year.
Easy there, Glory Days.
What's that?
I said, 'Easy there, Glory Days.' You know, like the song?
OK?
You know, Springsteen?
Yeah, I know it. So?
Yeah, so high school was a long time ago. You should move on. Everybody else has.
You asked me if I was any good, and I answered you.
Yeah, I asked you if you were any good. Didn't ask you to rattle off your greatest achievement from, what, 20 years ago? Seriously, slugger. Nobody cared then, and nobody cares now.
Who--what?
Ah, I'm just screwing around.
Oh . . . OK.
(about a minute later)
So, what do you do?
Me? I'm in finance.
No kidding. Like, banking, investments, shit like that?
Yes. Shit like that.
Must be doing pretty all right for yourself, huh?
Well, you know. We're comfortable.
Well, put your hands together for Mr. Gekko. OK, I get it. You're rich. Don't mean your shit don't stink.
Dude, you asked me how I was doing and I said I'm comfortable. What's the--
Hey, don't get defensive, Wall Street. We're just talking here.
Look, I--
Come on, I'm just messing with you.
Fine, whatever.
(another minute later)
What about you?
What about me, what?
Did you play any sports back in high school?
No.
So, what'd you do? You work? Were you in any activities?
I was on the yearbook staff.
Seriously?
Yeah. Why?
No, it's just that I was on yearbook at my high school, too.
Really? Well, whoopity fucking do. Baseball AND yearbook. Freaking fascinating. Tell me: Would you rather I suck your dick right now, or should I wait until after the game so our sons can watch?
All right, that's it.
Ooh, am I making you uncomfortable? Come on, man. Don't walk away. I think we're really starting to hit it off.
(another minute later)
Hey, honey. Who was that?
One of the other parents.
Oh. Was he nice?
Nah. Total asshole. Wouldn't stop talking about himself and his Wall Street job and how great a baseball player he was back in high school. Total loser.
Oh, that's too bad.
Yeah. Oh well, screw him. How was your day?
Great.
Great? Yeah, what happened?
Oh, I don't want to brag.
Come on, tell me.
Well, I got a couple of calls about the Waterstone property.
Ooh. Way to go, Trump.
What?
I said, that's great.