February 28 - Dammit, Johnson!

Dammit, Johnson! Stop doing everything people tell you to do.
Sorry, sir.
For the love of God, grow a pair, man. Grow a pair already. Stand up to me for once in your life.
Yes, sir.
Dammit, Johnson. You'd find a way to blow a wet dream if you could.
Sorry, sir.
Don't be sorry, man. Be assertive! Be an individual, Johnson. Forge your own path. I'm not always going to be around, you know. You're going to have to learn to make decisions for yourself. Do you think you can manage that, Johnson?
I think so, sir.
Good, Johnson. Very good. You'll start today. Standing up to authority is a most strapping way to establish your own character. You can practice with me, Johnson.
Yes, sir.
That's the spirit, Johnson. That's the stuff, old boy. You're well on your way. Now, I'm going to give you an order, and I expect you to refuse it. Can you do that Johnson?
Yes, sir.
No, sir. Understood, sir.
Dammit, Johnson! Do you stand to mock me?
No, sir. It's not that at all. I --I--
Yes? Well, what is it then, Johnson?
Well, sir. I don't know how to disobey you when you're telling me to disobey you.
Is it intentional, Johnson?
Sir?
This addle-mindedness, Johnson. Is it intentional?
Terribly sorry, sir.
Oh, never mind. Just disobey me, Johnson. Nothing could be simpler. Just refuse to do as I say. My God, man. A drooling imbecile could manage this task. Are you telling me that you are the lesser of an imbecile, Johnson? Is that what you're telling me?
No, sir. It's just that I--
Well then, get on with it, man.
No, sir.
I do beg your pardon!
I said no, sir.
Dammit, Johnson! You shall receive your weight in drubbings for this insubordination! Doubt whatever you will, Johnson, but do not doubt that.
Oh, hold on there. Ah, I see now. Very clever, old boy. Well played indeed, Johnson.
Thank you, sir.
Dammit, Johnson! Do wipe that insouciant grin off your mug.
Yes, sir.
I will not abide a grin. Not on my watch, Johnson. Not on my watch.
Of course not, sir.
All right then. Well now, where were we then?
Not doing everything I'm told to do, sir.
Ah, yes. Very good, Johnson. Smashing good. Now, what have we learned?
Sir?
Simple question, actually. What have we learned from this exercise, Johnson?
Um, the importance of standing up for myself and not doing everything I'm told to do, sir.
Outstanding, Johnson. Good show, man! Jolly good show!
Thank you, sir.
Right. Now, do be a good lad and fetch my smoking jacket.
Right away, sir.