February 19 - Have a Brownie

Here. Have a brownie. I just baked them myself. Don't they smell good? Look at them. They look good enough to eat, don't they? Ha ha!
What? No, sir! I made these brownies from scratch. I used the same recipe my mom made when she made brownies for us when we were growing up: cocoa, sugar, eggs, oil, a little this, a little that.
Go on, don't be shy. They're not gonna bite. That's your job! Ha ha ha!
That's it. Put it in your mouth. Yes. Yes . . .
What's that? Nope. No nuts. Just moist, delicious brownies and nothing else. Nothing to give you an allergic reaction or have any other adverse effects on you. Gosh, you're a paranoid little nutter, aren't you? Ha ha.
Me? No, I'm stuffed. Couldn't eat another bite. No, my friend. These brownies are all for you. So, no more hesitation. I don't see you chewing! Ha ha!
What are you waiting for? Man, if it were me, I'd be halfway through my third one by now. You must have some will power!
Here, let me get you a glass of milk. Here. There you go. Now you don't have any more excuses. It's pretty simple, actually. You just put it in your mouth, take a bite, and chew it.
Go on. One little brownie's not gonna kill you.