September 8 - Eddie

Dude, face it. You've got mother issues. I think you need to talk to someone.
What?
Check it out. The last four women you've slept with have had the same first name as your mother.
Yeah, I realize that probably doesn't look very good, but seriously, it's just a coincidence.
Dude, your mom's name is Celeste.
. . . Yeah.
And you haven't slept with a woman who isn't named Celeste in more than three years.
Yeah? So?
Yeah, so, I think it's time to have a look under the hood.
Come on.
OK, do you know any woman named Celeste whose boobs you haven't been on in one way or another?
Jesus!
Any?
I don't know.
That's a no. See also: Your name.
What about it?
Edward Pusinski.
Yeah?
But everybody calls you Eddie.
Right.
And all through college everybody always shortened your last name. Pus. OK?
OK. No idea where you're going with this, but OK.
Eddie Pus.
(Shrug)
Say it with me. Eddie Pus.
Freak.
Come on, Eddie . . .
Eddie . . .
Pus.
Pus.
Eddie . . .
This is so stupid.
Come on. Say it with me. Eddie . . .
Eddie . . .
Pus.
Pus.
Eddie Pus.
Eddie Pus.
Eddie Pus. Eddiepus. Oedipus.
Dude, whatever. Weird, but whatever.
OK, what does your dad think about all this?
Dude, that's messed up.
Come on.
You know my dad passed away.
Right. And how did he die?
For God's sake, man.
Just tell me.
You already know.
Yeah, but I want to hear it from you.
This is so stupid.
You're right. Totally. But tell me anyway.
Hunting accident.
More specific, please.
Jesus, man!
Out with it.
It was an accident!
Almost there. Just a little more.
The gun just went off, man. It was an accident.
Yeah, I know. Who was holding the gun when it went off?
Asshole.
Who?
. . .
Who?
OK, me.
Right.
So?
So, you're attracted exclusively to women who have the same really unusual first name as your mom. You are directly responsible for your father's death. And the name you go by sounds exactly like Oedipus.
Yeah? And?
I dunno. Just saying. Something you might want to keep an eye on.