September 22 - Same Page, Different Book

Here we are.
Alone at last.
Turn the lights down low.
No, not off. Low.
Yeah.
Nope, too bright again. We're going for ambiance here. Mood, romance, you know?
A little darker.
A teensy bit more.
There.
OK.
Come here.
No.
Wait.
Start this song over again. Yeah, that's it.
No, wait.
Actually, just start the whole album again, only--sorry--but could you program it to skip song 2? Don't get me wrong, it's a good song and all, but it's so not the vibe we're going for here.
Actually, here: This is the song order I want: 1, 3, 4, 6 - 9, 1 again, and then 10 - 13. That's the ideal track order for this night.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh God.
I want you so bad.
Turn the volume down just a hair.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
Now.
Undress.
Slowly.
Not in slow motion, slowly.
Yes, it matters. It's so much sexier if you do it slowly.
Also, you don't have to look at me the whole time, you know.
I didn't mean look at the floor. Look at me, but don't stare.
And also, a smile wouldn't go unappreciated.
OK, that's more of a grin and it too is creeping me out. If you could bring it down a notch that would be great.
OK, one more notch.
Yes.
Yes.
Right there.
Oh, yeah.
OK, now, off with the pants--don't forget: slowly.
Oh yeah.
Oh ye--OK, I'm positive that you are not wearing tighty whities.
Tell me you are not wearing tighty whities on date night.
No, don't get mad. I'm just saying, it's date night. I don't know, try a little? Maybe?
No, don't change. Just try to remember for next time, OK?
OK.
As you were.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Now, get your sexy ass in this bed.
Oh yeah, here we go.
Oh my God, yeah.
Mmm.
Wait.
Sorry, but really quick: You remember the safe word, right?
Need a clue?
One of the 50 states? Starts with D and kind of sounds like underwear?
D-
E-
L-
-aware.
Delaware.
The safe word.
Delaware.
Don't roll your eyes at me. Yes, I like having a safe word--even during conventional sex, which, again, is exactly and exclusively what we're having.
Oh! That reminds me. Have you signed the consent forms? Great. Do you have them with you? Yes, all three of them. I want to make sure everything is all set before we start.
What do you mean you left one of them at the office? Here we are, we finally have everything in place, and now you're telling me you left one of the forms at the office?
Just forget it.
Turn on the lights.
Look.
This was supposed to be your fantasy night.
Well, here we are, only I feel like I'm the only one who's in the spirit: being super particular about the lights, making sure we get the music exactly right, micromanaging your wardrobe, coaching you on how you undress, triple checking the safe word, making up these ridiculous consent forms?
You said you wanted anal sex. Honestly, I don't know how much more anal a girl can get.