April 1 - 15 Sentences That Aren't Nearly as Nice to Hear If They're Followed Immediately by "April Fool's!"

1. Yes, of course I'm wearing a condom.
2. As it turns out, our budget projections were off. We won't have to close this branch down after all and you can all keep your jobs!
3. Excellent news. Your test results all came back negative!
4. Your father and I have decided to get back together.
5. Thanks for paying for all my drinks last night. And don't worry: This isn't a high school uniform. You just met me on my way home from a costume party.
6. Oh, thank God! Spot's finally come home!
7. Don't worry, there was no meat in that.
8. Now's a hell of a time to ask me since we're practically halfway home, but yes, of course I'm fine to drive.
9. You're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
10. Don't worry, it's not contagious.
11. Of course not! I would never post those pictures online.
12. After following your husband for the last three weeks, I have found nothing that would lead me to believe that he's having an affair.
13. Hey, I found that diamond earring you lost a couple of weeks ago!
14. The plaintiffs have decided to drop their case against you.
15. Everything's going to be just fine.